I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want to make out with him forever
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
