so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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