It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
