I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
