I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
