im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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