Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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