dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
