he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
