If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
