So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
