so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Panties = found
Randomize
