Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
