just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
