I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
