he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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