Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
