what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you inspire me to be a worse person
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
