So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
