happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
