Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
