im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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