Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
