sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
