i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
and she was petting her beer can
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
