thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
