OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
