my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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