You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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