my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
