I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
