dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Shitshow foam night was such a success
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
