My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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