I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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