Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
