no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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