i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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