I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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