How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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