I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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