I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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