Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
