And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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