Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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