An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
A bitchslap is in order.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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