Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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