we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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