Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
