I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
