i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
