Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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